Ahhh...the Real Story Begins...

...on May 22nd...We arrive in two distinct camps—those coming in from Washington, D.C., and those trekking from west of the Mississippi. The Western Contingent heads bravely for Minneapolis, then on to Amsterdam. Meanwhile, beating the odds in surviving a potent combo of middle-seat assignments and an edgier than normal French flight crew, the DC team arrives in Cairo in time to catch dinner by the pool. For those who took muscle relaxers in Paris, it’s an early evening. All are bedded down snugly by midnightish. Meanwhile, the Salt Lake crew is working its way through Saint Petersburg, Reykjavik, and Venice. They arrive by 4am, ready to start their first day.

We start the day loading on the bus and trundling over to the Mohammed Ali mosque—a huge, beautiful mosque that boasts four minarets and some distinctly Byzantine influence on the interior.







We enter through an outer courtyard. We’re required to leave shoes at the door, and a number of females in the group are selected, apparently at random, to wear green robes as modesty guards.



Those who aren’t pulled aside feel slightly left out, and wonder if they shouldn’t have worn more plunging necklines. Inside, we get a quick lesson on the Five Pillars of Islam while we sit in a circle- shoeless and semi-robed—under a 365-candle lantern, then wander outside to walk the sprawling patio area, taking in stunning views of the city, snapping photos, and dodging papyrus salesmen (we’re serious). Typical exchange between salesman and female group member: “I give you six papyri for seven dollar!” “No, thanks.” “But you are very beautiful.”

We load back on the bus for our next stop. A small gang has formed at the back of the bus. They spend the ride in fast living and riotous behavior, downing at least two bottles of water while debating the true genesis of the Sunni-Shi’ite divide. We pull into the Cairo Museum before things get too out of hand. Here, we take a brief tour of Egyptian history via dynastic artifacts (averaging one dynasty every two minutes—beat that). We later work our way up to the second floor and the King Tut display. Our guide makes it abundantly clear that King Tut was the Least Influential Pharaoh EVER in the whole entire and very, very long history of Egypt—and yet, ironically, here you have it. Nevertheless, we pay homage by wandering the exhibit, impressed that anyone managed to collect so many odds and ends in just eight years of ruling an empire. Based on our guide’s reports on the amount of gold found in Tut’s tomb, it is estimated that kilograms to pounds time price per ounce and you end up with $2.5 million worth of gold on the second floor. The Back of the Bus Group starts plotting how to conform to Egyptian tradition by pillaging the exhibit and selling the gold on eBay.

A brief lunch break at—we’re not kidding—the Hard Rock Café of Cairo (you can order t-shirts online). The Back of the Bus Group immediately takes off to roam the streets of Cairo in search of street vendors selling suspect meat. The less culinarily adventurous settle in to what promises to be a relatively tame meal of sliced cucumbers, rice pilaf, and chocolate pudding-- when the restaurant crew unexpectedly takes the floor under the very loud cover of “We Will Rock You,” then slips right into Y-MCA! (Check out the dancers in action: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFjNgVAaPgA )Bedlam on the dancefloor as we all join in, briefly reliving every single BYU dance that’s taken place since the mid-1990’s. Within a brief span of about ten minutes, the bottled water is flowing freely, and we’ve migrated to what appears to be Egyptian Latino re-mix salsa with a hint of bellydancing. We really like the staff at the Hard Rock Café in Cairo.

Time to head back out. The Back of the Bus Group is chainsmoking behind the bus, and has to be coaxed back on (just kidding Mom and Dad). We motor over to our next stop, where we will Singlehandedly Boost The Entire Egyptian Economy with a stop at a papyrus store. Beautiful decorated papyri in glass frames, depicting Abraham, the Judgment, and the occasional file of ducks (not simultaneously). We discover the phenomenon of language barrier bargaining, in which the seller offers a discount and bonus papyrus, collects the money, then can’t remember having the conversation. We retaliate by threatening to send them to the back of the bus.

Our final stop—a jewelry store loaded with beautiful gold and silver jewelry. A few of the rings look suspiciously like the ones we saw in the King Tut exhibit. Meanwhile, the Middle of the Bus has come under the influence of the Back of the Bus, and takes off in a heady jaunt through back alleys to try to get a clearer view of the looming pyramid in the distance. Realizing the delicate situation they’re in as tourists making their way down narrow backstreets at dusk, they immediately pull out all their cameras and start taking photos.

(Legal disclaimer: We actually really love the Back of the Bus—thanks for letting us pick on you!)

End of the day—a one-hour flight to Luxor. More tomorrow………..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

A BIG SHOUT OUT TO JENNY! WISH YOU WERE HERE!